Well, I did as Harlen suggested. I subscribed to an online dating service to put myself in a virtual room of people. The first day that my profile was available, a guy that I went to school with contacted me through the website. (We are from the same city and both still live there now....although I really haven't seen him in about a year or maybe more.) He asked if I was having luck on the website and said that he was really wasn't other than making some new "friends". He and I chatted through the website, even though we are on each other's Facebook. He suggested that I go to the upcoming mixer and shared the event info with me and then told me in the last email to come check it out and if there wasn't much going on "we" could walk down to one of the other places close by. During the course of the week there was one other guy that I responded to and so he was also attending the mixer.
So I went. When I got there "Matt" met me at the door and we chatted for a bit. He suggested we walk over to meet the friends that he met through attending a few other mixers, so I joined him. A few minutes after meeting his friends (which were older ladies), the other guy walked in and made himself available to talk to me. My friend Matt was on the other side of one of his friends talking so I excused myself to talk to the other guy there. ("Ben") Ben and I chatted for about 30 mins and during the course of the conversation, I tried to keep my eye on where Matt was. As my conversation with Ben died down, we noticed everyone at the mixer, including Matt and his friends, were leaving. Ben walked me to my car and politely said it was nice to meet you and left. I got in my car and remembered that Matt had suggested that if things weren't jumping at the mixer we could walk down to one of the other places in the area. So I decided to look on his FB to see if his number was posted. It was and so I got gutsy and send him a text, to see if he and his friends were still out or if they had turned in for the night. After a few texts, he told me where they were headed and I joined them.
After a few minutes of standing with him and his friends, he asked how my "other guy" worked out. I explained to him that he was really nice, but not really my type. So, he and I talked a bit more, the ladies left and he and I ventured to another place for a while to catch up. During the conversation he asked me out for next Saturday. I said yes, he drove me back to my car and I confessed to him that I had really gone to the mixer to see him. He laid a 4 minute kiss on me and I actually had to back off and tell him that I thought that we should call it a night. He told me that he had a good time and that he would call me in a couple of days.
Matt sent me a text the next morning to tell me he had fun the night before. We texted for just a few minutes. Then I contacted him that evening to check up on his progress of moving his daughter back home and we texted for about 30 mins. It was a good conversation. Today, he sent me another invite to go to the next mixer coming up in September.
So now...I am not sure how to handle things. He told me during our initial text conversation, after the mixer, to feel free to text me anytime if I wanted to get a drink or something because he was usually free. I made the next initial contact with the second text conversation. I do not want to see desperate or needy and I do not want to scare him off. But I do want him to know that I am interested. I am not even sure what he is looking for. Do you think I should just wait for him to initiate the next conversation?
I know in your book, you state when meeting people, it's better to put yourself out there and know than to stand back and do nothing. Is this the same sort of situation?? Please advise...