Hello any and everyone!
As we all know, the Universal Rejection Truth is the Getting Naked Experiment's bread and butter. Cliff Notes Version for all you new-comers: There are MILLIONS of people that do not want to be with you. There are, however, THOUSANDS of people that do. Of those thousands, you only need ONE. So stop focusing on those millions, and starting talking to those thousands. All up to speed? Perfect.
So I've been doing some serious experimenting with the URT lately. Putting myself in more rooms, taking more risks, asking for numbers. I got back on the online dating game a little bit, had a lot of fun on a Grouper (which I highly reccomend), and even gave Tinder a try. Finally through online dating I found someone that I really liked. We emailed constantly the next several days and then it lead to texting. I was so happy to be interested in someone who was interested in me. We both went to the same college (she was still in school) we had made plans to meet, everything was going to be great. Until I realized that we were communicating at every single moment. Constantly. Never going for more than an hour without speaking to each other. I found myself saying things that I wasn't sure that I meant. And she was texting me right back about how much she missed me even though we had never met. I was just so elated to have somebody interested in me that I realized that I didn't ultimately see me dating this person and being happy with her. So unfortunately I had to be on the other side of the table. I had to take responsibility and recognize and admit to the fact that I was wrong in how fast we were getting into everything, and had to ask to slow it down a bit. I was completely honest and open about how I felt about the situation and she understood. We talked about how logistically a relationship or dating wouldn't work out right now because distance to start a relationship is something neither of us had wanted to commit to. We've decided to remain friends and still do plan on meeting up soon.
That's when it hit me. She is one of the thousands that does want me, but she is not the one I'm supposed to be with, at least right now. A lot of times I think people tend to be so excited to finally have someone interested in them after a long romantic dry-spell. They are so easy to just find someone to date for the sake of dating--to be the person that FINALLY gets to change their Facebook relationship status. While the excitement and thrill of finally having someone expressing interest in you is nice, you need to ask yourself "Is this really a person that can make me happy? Am I just doing this for a label?" If you're doing it for the label then that's unfair, not just to the person you are dating who may genuinely care for you, but it's also not fair to yourself. You deserve happiness, not a label!
Sidenote: Having experienced the other side of the table for once having to tell someone that the attraction isn't mutual/not there anymore, I can tell you that it's not easy. I have complete empathy for any nice person who has ever had to reject someone. It's not an easy thing to do, especially when the other person doesn't even see it coming. Tips: be compassionate, be kind, and be honest.