"What's hanging out of your thong? What makes it too hard for you to say what you think and do what you feel?"
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NAKED ADVICE: Twenty-year-old is attracted to older men, but struggles to connect with them
Dear Harlan:
What do you think about age differences? I'm 20 years old and interested in older guys – 10 years older. It's caused a lot of problems, and people frown upon it. It sucks! I like these guys, but it's so hard to connect with them. Any advice?
– Thing for Older Men
Dear Older Men:
Older men can be more stable, confident and capable of manipulating you. At least that's what other people think. The younger the woman, the more age matters. When it stops mattering is when you hit the magical age of 25. For some reason, this seems to be when women stop putting up with garbage and realize being treated like crap isn't cute. Once a woman is in her mid-20s, she has her own interests, independence and sense of self. And that's when age stops mattering as much. Try to date a man closer to your age. Put yourself in rooms with men who are leaders, thinkers and doers. If you can't find a good man in the next five years, everyone will be older, and age will no longer matter.
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Comment by Tum Suppak on February 2, 2013 at 11:16pm -
Callaway, to be honest, I am not sure if I and your partner use the word 'whirwind' in the exactly same definition, but I can guess what he's trying to say based on what I know.
When you're a young adult, everything seems like a big deal. Passion, career opportunities, love, family, and friends seem to be almost equally important. We aren't really used to having so much opportunities and responsibility. I believe what he meant was that he has so many things he feels he really need to do, but does not know how he can manages them all. When everything demands time, it would feel very overwhelming-- just like being carried up in the air and blown in many directions at the same time.
I hope this helps with your question, and hope that you found your big answer soon.
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Comment by Callaway Everseen on February 2, 2013 at 5:08pm
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Tum, thank you very much for your comment. What you said is extremely helpful. I don't know what a 20ish guy's typical behavior is so hearing it from you (being 20ish) helps me out. One time this guy told me that he was in a "whirlwind". You used this word in your comment. What does that exactly mean when a guy says he's up in a whirlwind right now? What kinds of stresses does a 20ish guy have?
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Comment by Tum Suppak on January 30, 2013 at 9:32pm
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Callaway, I am not what you are referring to as 'one reason.' There are many reasons for a man to date older women. Sex? Of course. Money? Some people do it for that. Emotional stability? My friend dated a mother 12 years older than him for that reason. Well, until she feels that he can't be a father of her 3 years old daughter if he acted like a child. He did. She dumped him. What do you expect from a 22 years old?
I am not that young, but I have not reach 30, and I have to say that people who are around my age or younger are not very good with being consistent. I am not saying this to defend your dating partner or to say who can't date a much younger man. But if you're going forward with this, this is one of the things that hang out from a young man's thong. We're learning how to not screw everything up. So you might want to express to him how you feel about his habit, embrace his whirlwind decisions, or find men who might be a little more mature to mingle.
But this is only my opinion, and I can't find a date myself... so I can't say much more.
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I'd like some advice on dating younger men. Do younger men just want to be with older woman for one reason? The past two years I became very close to a man 16 years younger than me. We would see each other about twice a year. I really like him but he breaks my heart everytime by never being consistant with seeing me or messaging me.
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Comment by Sheryl on January 30, 2013 at 2:12pm -
It was in 2002 I was 32. So yeah, I'm 43! Lol
Played a factor? How so?
I never thought "ew he's sooo old." It was him as a person, what attracted me. His age wasn't a repellent, nor an attraction.
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Comment by Harlan Cohen on January 30, 2013 at 1:11pm -
Sheryl, how old were you when you started dating your ex? Do you think age played a factor?
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Comment by Sheryl on January 30, 2013 at 1:10pm
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Very interesting post. I'd like to learn more about this subject. My ex bf (ten yr relationship) is 14 yrs older, and my current partner is 13 yrs older.
Age doesn't matter.
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