I have a complaint. I am a 31-year-old single woman, and I will never understand the stupidity of asking a man out. Men will approach women if they are interested in hooking up with them, and that is it. Women and men are just wasting their time if they go through with this. I lived next door to this man who my neighbors said was interested in me. I did not approach him, and he did not approach me. If he was interested in me, he would have approached me. He ended up moving, and I am so glad that I did not approach him. This would have been a terrible relationship, seeing as how I would have felt like the man, and he would have felt like the woman. He was obviously in love with someone else. I am attractive, and he was attractive, but I am glad I did not lose my womanly ways. I just wanted to vent, and now I feel much better.
–Attractive and Single
Dear Attractive and Single:
Not to change your womanly ways, but not all men who want to date you will ask you out. Many men will assume you’re in a relationship or not interested in being approached. They will misinterpret a cue and leave you alone because they are being gentlemen. These aren’t weak men. They aren’t insecure losers. These are loving men who want the same things you want, but don’t want to get rejected or make you uncomfortable. Most of us aren’t good at taking risks unless we know a woman is available and interested. You don’t need to ask men out. Just make it clear that you’re available and interested in a friendship. If a guy can’t make the next move, then move on, but not approaching someone because you think you should be the one he approaches will leave you unapproachable. And that’s not smart.
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