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Rich Briggs posted a status
"Hello Harlan, and ladies on this site. I posted back in January 2013 regarding getting my confidence and my mojo back. I need to update so"
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Sheryl posted a blog post


when you least expect it, it will happen.what is IT?love.i met him. Have patience friends! See More
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9 months man sober

There should be a 12 step program for people like me. Against all odds I have been single for over…See More
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safety in numbers

That was fast, it doesn't too long before true colors shine through.Twenty percent it was what he…See More
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Sheryl replied to Steve Henry's discussion Sadness
"you are definitely ready. taking the risk of asking her means your ready for the possibility of…"
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the risk challenge

the last blog entry was about feeling idle and going nowhere fast. Harlan suggested i pick one…See More
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Jun 15
Harlan Cohen commented on Sheryl's blog post idle
"Sheryl, Do something active. Pick one thing this summer that will put you in rooms with people…"
Jun 15

NAKED ADVICE: Serial monogamist needs to clean house

Dear Harlan:

I live with my boyfriend, but I’m not getting along with him. I have supported him financially for two years, and yet he is unable to provide what I need: emotional support. No matter how much we talk, I can’t make him see it. To complicate issues, I have started to have feelings for my best friend. I think he might have feelings for me, too. How do I know if he is the right guy?

I just want to find the right guy and settle down before I become old and haggard. My standards aren’t that unrealistic. Why can’t I find someone? This whole love thing is just too hit-or-miss for me. I am becoming a serial monogamist in my search for “Mr. Will Do.” Help!

–Miss Monogamist

Dear Miss Monogamist:

Either your best friend has feelings for you, or he needs someone to pay his rent.

The problem might be that you keep falling in love with the idea of the guy, not the actually guy. When the illusion gives way to reality (in this case, two years later), you finally see what you really have -- and it’s not what you fell in love with, because that was never actually there to begin with.

Do things differently this time.

Get to know the person beyond the illusion. Any guy can be a lover, but not every lover can be a friend. Take small steps. Work on the friendship part. See beyond the fog of lust. And speaking of friends -- it’s hard to know if your best friend has potential. That is, unless you change your living arrangements. Most men find it intimidating to approach a woman with a live-in boyfriend.

- Need Naked Advice? Click here to write Harlan

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Tags: dating, emotions, monogamist, relationships, support


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