Dear Harlan:

I don’t understand men. Last June, I met someone over the Internet (at first, my parents didn’t know). It wasn’t a desperate, search-for-the-nearest-single-guy-on-Myspace type of thing. Soon, we were texting, and only about 14 days into the “relationship” we started to be sexual — with pictures, talking and voice recordings. The relationship got extremely intense during the next nine months. We met up several times, but we never had sex. We talked about it, but we couldn’t have a relationship. Afterward, he didn’t know if it would be enough for each of us just to have the phone and the computer. It felt like he loved me, but he never said it. When I told him that I loved him, I was greeted with silence. Now, he says he won’t be able to be with me, or even see me. It wouldn’t hurt so bad if he said he wasn’t interested in seeing anyone, but he is interested in dating someone — just not me. He’s everywhere in my life. I don’t know how to move on.

–Hurting Everywhere

Dear Hurting:

Bottom line — you’re lucky. You’re lucky you didn’t get hurt physically.  You’re lucky you didn’t sleep with him.  Your sexy pictures and chats haven’t turned up on a random ex-girlfriend Web site (but they’re still out there). You fell in love. You gave all of yourself. You believed it would be forever, but it  turned into never. And it hurts. The hurt will heal over time — but you need to be more careful. The memories, lessons and feelings will linger (that’s part of it), BUT so will the pictures you sent him. NEVER send pictures, videos or texts you wouldn’t want your parents, employers, siblings or friends to see.  

- Need Naked Advice? Click here to write Harlan