Dear Harlan:

This past summer, I worked at the local pool. Through this job, I got to know a guy. We talked a lot, and he flirted. Naturally, we became friends. I later found out we were going to be attending the same school. However, he is three years older than me (popular and on the football team). I expected him to ignore me at school. Surprisingly, he didn’t act that way, and everything was going just fine. Somewhere in all of this, I started to really like him. About a month into the school year, I worked up enough courage and told him how I felt. I figured that if I didn’t take the chance I would regret it and wonder what would’ve happened. I didn’t ask him out or anything, I just told him I really liked him, and he seemed fine with that (in his exact words: “that’s cool”).

Since then, he’s avoided me as though I have the plague. I now realize that it wasn’t the best idea to say anything and that I practically asked for rejection. My “friends” even said I was an idiot. I could really use some advice.

–Rejected in Ariz.

Dear Rejected:

The real idiots are the people calling you an idiot.

The problem isn’t you. It’s your insecure friends. You saw an opportunity to connect with a guy you liked. Your friends just saw an opportunity to get rejected. They live life running from opportunity -- you don’t. The qualities that allowed you to be honest about your feelings are the same qualities that will allow you to take risks, be a leader and follow your passion in the future. As for your friends, they’re spectators, watching people like you live life to the fullest. They call you names in an effort to turn you into one of them. But don’t listen to them. Don’t follow their lead. You’re NO idiot. Your friends are idiots for judging you, and the pool boy is for not being upfront and honest.

As for that pool boy, he might be interested, but he could be dating someone. He might be getting over an ex. He might think you’re too young to date, and he’s waiting a semester. Then again, he might not be interested and didn’t want to lead you on. Whatever the reason, you didn’t lose -- you won. You expressed what you were feeling, and now you can spend your time living life instead of wasting it and wondering.

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