Dear Harlan:

I'm going into my sophomore year, and I've been having trouble with the ladies. Florida State is a predominantly white school, and I am African-American. I feel like whenever I try to approach a white girl, she judges me before I even get a chance to talk. Can you offer me any advice on approaching a girl who I am interested in?

–Struggling With the Ladies

Dear Struggling:

Everyone you meet will judge you. That's part of meeting new ladies. Some ladies will judge you based on your appearance, personality, friends, grade point average, job, school, religion, family, passion, drive, reputation, sexual history, alcohol use, hobbies, athletic skills, listening abilities or smile. And some will judge you based on the color of your skin. Don't let one part of you define all of you. Some white women love dating African-American men. Others would love to date a man like you, but haven't had the opportunity. If you're not talking to these women because you're assuming they're all judging you, you're actually judging them. Give them time to get to know you. Encourage them to judge you. Approach women who interest you. Put yourself in places where you can get to know these women and they can get to know you. Most women want a caring men who will listen and love them regardless of their skin color. There are more than 40,000 students at FSU -you're single not because you're African-American. You're single because you're too busy making excuses as to why women won't want to date you.

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