Dear Harlan:

I am 24, beautiful, successful and independent, and my love life is floundering and has been for quite some time. I can't seem to find a lasting relationship.

Okay so obviously I'm still stuck on the URT! As much as I wish i could get past it I cannot.  I could get a total d-bag, any d-bag anywhere, you pick'em, I could get them to latch onto me in half of a heartbeat.  they will latch on and hang on as long as the ride continues.   But, I find a good guy, one that's not a drunk, not abusive, not too this or too that, one that I truly enjoy being around, one that I would introduce to my mom, and as soon as I make it apparent that I like him, bam,…

Dear Harlan:

I've liked this guy my whole life. I'm 23 now, and he is 24. About two months ago, he sent me a message on Facebook asking for my number. We text all the time. I don't know if he likes me or not. Should I tell him? I just don't know what to do.…

Dear Harlan:

My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s and have been together since high school. We still like the same things that brought us together, but he seems to be changing into a different person.

Suddenly, he is against having porch lights or nightlights on, but yet he leaves the computer on…

Dear Harlan:

I met this guy last year toward the end of the semester. We had dinner and then we went home for the summer. When we got back to school, our hanging out continued. We met up at a party and he kissed me. The next week he took me out on a date. Soon we met up at a party, and I slept at his place (no sex, not without commitment). Since that date he has…

Dear Harlan:

I met this great guy on the Internet three months ago. I am 24, and he is 38. He thinks that I won’t find him attractive because he’s a bigger guy. Every time we plan to meet, he cancels on me. I think he’s just worried that I won’t find him attractive in person (I’ve already seen some pictures of him). I don’t…

Dear Harlan:

I’m a woman in my early 30s who has just ended a three-year stint of singledom following a rocky but exciting relationship with a functional alcoholic. The man I have been dating for the past 8 months is handsome, kind, gentle, respectful and trustworthy. At times, I feel very in love, but other times I am left…

Dear Harlan:

I told my boyfriend I love him first. He hasn't told me that he loves me. Did I make a mistake?

– In Love…

Dear Harlan:

What does it mean when a woman turns totally silent on a man? Is silence used as a way of breaking up?

–Sounds of Silence…

Dear Harlan:

I have a very good friend who has had a bit of trouble with men in the recent past. Her latest boyfriend seemed like a surefire keeper until he came to her a few days back and said he did not find her physically attractive. I was curious about what he meant and was able to meet with him (with her approval) to…

Dear Harlan:

My ex-boyfriend is confusing me to no end. If a man stops a relationship for no obvious reason, then why would he try to get back together with me again out of the blue? I find this especially difficult because there was no closure the first time. As a guy, can you help me shed some light on men?…

Dear Harlan:

I've suddenly come to realize that there are fewer than three months left before summer. I met a girl at the end of last school year, so we've now been dating for about nine months. We go to school in St. Louis, but she lives in Chicago and I live in Austin. We won't get to see each…

Dear Harlan:

What exactly do girls look for in a guy? Do they all just concentrate on looks, or do they value personality and intelligence? Which one is more important?

–Looking for a…

Dear Harlan:

I think it’s so amazing that you try to help out kids my age with our problems. Sometimes these problems seem to consume our minds and make us lose focus on the world whirling around us. At least this is what happened to me last semester at college. I couldn’t keep my mind off of the guy in my statistics class.…

Dear Harlan:

Why do guys have to be so stupid? Why can’t guys just say what they want instead of playing all these stupid games? My problem is that I really like this guy, and he sends me signals that he likes me too. But he hasn’t made a move to tell me if we are together or if he just wants to get into my pants. His…

Dear Harlan:

I can't seem to move past this girl I recently split up with. I'm someone who puts all my effort into a relationship, and she treated me like an option. I know she isn't the right girl for me, but for some reason I focus on the potential she has to be a good girlfriend, rather than focusing on how she treated…

Dear Harlan:

I started talking via the phone to a guy I met online a few weeks ago. We get along really well (from the first day, it had been like we were best friends for years), and I cannot stop thinking about him. My stomach is in knots all the time, and my mind goes blank when we speak. We live in two different cities,…