I'm hoping maybe someone on here could give me a little advice.
Someone I knew in high school just recently started talking to me. He's not someone I really knew well in or ever had much of an interest in, but we've been talking a little bit for the past couple weeks. He seems like a really nice guy, but I'm not sure if I'm interested or not. He comes off a little too strong at times. I mean I barely know him and the way he flirts can make things a little awkward or uncomfortable. But I feel like I should give him a chance. You never know who you could end up liking. I'll talk to him, maybe go out with him once and see if I could like him or not, but I feel like he's getting a lot more invested in the whole thing than I am. I don't want him to think that I'm going to be his girlfriend after 1 date or something and I think that's where his thinking is headed. How do I give him a chance without leading him on? How do I make it clear that I don't know if I like him like that now or not without hurting his feelings? Or should I just end this now before he gets too involved?
Take a risk. Go on a date. That's what The Getting Naked Experiment is all about.
Get to know him before figuring out how you feel about him. Who knows? You might want to be his girlfriend. Whatever happens next, you are not responsible for his feelings. Just be honest with him. How he deals with an honest woman is up to him. If he's coming on too strong, tell him sooner rather than later. If he's moving too fast, ask him to slow down. If you have to reject him after a few dates, give him a copy for Getting Naked as a parting gift. He needs to train in his dating thong and give you permission to NOT want him. Going on a date is kind. Being honest with him if you don't want a second date is also kind. If he can't handle the truth, he needs to date liars. Not you.
Oh, and if you're worried about going out with him for any reason, check out his past relationships (you must have mutual friends from the past). His past should tell you if he's a guy who respects women or controls and uses them.
Definitely talk to him, you want to be up front and honest with him as you would want him to be with you. Be subtle and dont throw it in his face unless he just can't take a hint, but like Harlan said, it cannot hurt to go on a date (as friends) and figure things out from there. Take a chance, worst comes to worst, he is crazy and you just walk away, better knowing now than later!
Feel free to ask any more questions you may have!
Agreed with all above. Be direct. It saves time and energy, and he may be so busy thinking about how to impress you that he doesn't even notice.
Hi Callie. I've been "that guy" in your scenario. I think it's wonderful that you're willing to give him a chance, even though you're not certain yet. I believe that it takes up to about four dates to see if there can be chemistry between two people. During those dates, keep things light and conversational - chat like a couple of old friends might chat. Drop hints that you don't consider him a 'boyfriend' just yet - like saying, "One day when I meet the guy of my dreams, I'd like to...". Hints like these help a person to prepare themselves a bit for the frank truth that you must eventually share with him - which is, "I don't know, but let's go for a date or two and see where it goes."
Don't get physical. Don't string him along. It may hurt him.. a bit. But he will get over it - especially if you 've kept things open, light and non-physical.
If you feel like giving him a chance, then give him a change. But be sure that you make it really clear what it is you want from this relationship/friendship/first date. Honestly, communication is the key here. If you don't feel comfortable with where things are going, explain it to him and if he reacts badly, know you've done what you can.
Talk like a whore. Guys love it.
Please disregard this individuals comments..
Karro Cadmus said:
Talk like a whore. Guys love it.